dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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