I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
