Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
