Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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