anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
