this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
