Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This is my gift to your gina
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
