Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize