You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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