This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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