its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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