I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize