Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize