just tell him i said nine months
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
