Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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