And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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