Nicole vs. Life
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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