i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He better not be in your backpack
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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