Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Randomize
