I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
