How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize