I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
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We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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