I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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