epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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