try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
