i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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