I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
