she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Randomize