and you said cock pushups were impossible
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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