she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
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It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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