The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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