Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize