Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
