my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize