I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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