If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize