I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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