# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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