Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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