apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
