your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
