Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
