I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
