Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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