i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize