I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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