Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
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his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
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This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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