I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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