Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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