I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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