My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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