I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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