and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i was born a porn star she said
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
