Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
