Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
