He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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