Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
