Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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