yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
