I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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