Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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