I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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