Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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