someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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