i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
